As much we love New Moon we have to admit that the way Bella handles the whole break-up thing is totally frustrating. Sure, she’s broken-hearted and that sucks but there are ways of dealing with the pain that actually make you feel better; not stuck on a zombie-like state forever. So we’ve picked out the important lessons New moon teaches us on what NOT to do if you ever get into the unfortunate sitch of having a broken heart.
You bf isn’t everything
Bella’s biggest mistake is making Edward literally everything to her, so that when he leaves, life doesn’t have much to offer her except pain. Realizing that your bf isn’t you whole world is a pre-emptive step starting when you are in a relationship. Not that you should expect or prepare for a break-up but it’s important to maintain balance in a relationship, and keep up with your friends, fam, school and most importantly – ‘you’ time! By not making your whole life about a boy, you will be much happier and healthier within the relationship and if you ever do break up you won’t feel quite so broken or alone.
You do get over first love
As romantic as the idea is that your first love is your true love and you never get over it, the reality – and the good news – is that you can. Anne Hollonds, vice president of Relationships Australia explains that you’ll probably always remember your first love in a special way but that doesn’t mean you won’t ever move one and love again. “Human beings are remarkably resilient. When you’re going through a major trauma or crisis, you can’t imagine ever being happy again… but over time it does get better”, says Anne. “It will take longer than you would like it to, probably because we don’t like to feel emotional pain. But its normal and its not going to kill you. You will be happy again.”
No rebound required
Of course, just because you will love again one day doesn’t mean you should jump into a rebound relationship right away. Running from one guy straight into the arms of another is not a good idea. Your new relationship will be off to a bad start, it means that you’re not actually healing properly. “its better to actually feel the pain and give yourself time to heal, and then gradually start looking at new relationship again.”
Do not Self-Destruct
Creepy guys? Motorbikes? Cliff diving? Yeah, not exactly good ways to deal with a break-up (especially of they’re ways to ‘see’ your ex-bf that’s heading pretty far past healthy). Seriously, though and kind of self-destructive behavious is dangerous and, like a rebound guy, won’t actually help you heal. Anne advises that its best not to run away from or try to dampen your pain. Because it will only make things worse in the lone run. And don’t turn those destructive tendencies towards others either – revenge may sound sweet but you’ll be the one ends up even more hurt.
Get help. Feel better.
Bella’s care factor of zero when it comes to her fam and friends and their ability to help het (Jacob doesn’t count – see ‘No rebound required’) is definitely not something to emulate. Coz as you probably know, the support you have around you is the main thing that is ultimately going to make you feel a helluva lot better.
“look after yourself, and get family and friends around you to look after you”, sans Anne. “talk to people who are wise. See the school counselor, you need all the support you can get. Stock up on shocolate, ice-cream, romantic comedies, magazines and tissues and just cry. Its okay to cry a lot, it helps. Eventually, you will feel better!”
Source: girlfriend.com.au
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