How to handle a break-up.. better than Bella Swan..

As much we love New Moon we have to admit that the way Bella handles the whole break-up thing is totally frustrating. Sure, she’s broken-hearted and that sucks but there are ways of dealing with the pain that actually make you feel better; not stuck on a zombie-like state forever. So we’ve picked out the important lessons New moon teaches us on what NOT to do if you ever get into the unfortunate sitch of having a broken heart.

You bf isn’t everything
Bella’s biggest mistake is making Edward literally everything to her, so that when he leaves, life doesn’t have much to offer her except pain. Realizing that your bf isn’t you whole world is a pre-emptive step starting when you are in a relationship. Not that you should expect or prepare for a break-up but it’s important to maintain balance in a relationship, and keep up with your friends, fam, school and most importantly – ‘you’ time! By not making your whole life about a boy, you will be much happier and healthier within the relationship and if you ever do break up you won’t feel quite so broken or alone.

You do get over first love
As romantic as the idea is that your first love is your true love and you never get over it, the reality – and the good news – is that you can. Anne Hollonds, vice president of Relationships Australia explains that you’ll probably always remember your first love in a special way but that doesn’t mean you won’t ever move one and love again. “Human beings are remarkably resilient. When you’re going through a major trauma or crisis, you can’t imagine ever being happy again… but over time it does get better”, says Anne. “It will take longer than you would like it to, probably because we don’t like to feel emotional pain. But its normal and its not going to kill you. You will be happy again.”

No rebound required
Of course, just because you will love again one day doesn’t mean you should jump into a rebound relationship right away. Running from one guy straight into the arms of another is not a good idea. Your new relationship will be off to a bad start, it means that you’re not actually healing properly. “its better to actually feel the pain and give yourself time to heal, and then gradually start looking at new relationship again.”

Do not Self-Destruct
Creepy guys? Motorbikes? Cliff diving? Yeah, not exactly good ways to deal with a break-up (especially of they’re ways to ‘see’ your ex-bf that’s heading pretty far past healthy). Seriously, though and kind of self-destructive behavious is dangerous and, like a rebound guy, won’t actually help you heal. Anne advises that its best not to run away from or try to dampen your pain. Because it will only make things worse in the lone run. And don’t turn those destructive tendencies towards others either – revenge may sound sweet but you’ll be the one ends up even more hurt.



Get help. Feel better.
Bella’s care factor of zero when it comes to her fam and friends and their ability to help het (Jacob doesn’t count – see ‘No rebound required’) is definitely not something to emulate. Coz as you probably know, the support you have around you is the main thing that is ultimately going to make you feel a helluva lot better.
“look after yourself, and get family and friends around you to look after you”, sans Anne. “talk to people who are wise. See the school counselor, you need all the support you can get. Stock up on shocolate, ice-cream, romantic comedies, magazines and tissues and just cry. Its okay to cry a lot, it helps. Eventually, you will feel better!”

Source: girlfriend.com.au

Those three little words: Five things to do before you say ‘I LOVE YOU'

Before you say the biggest three little words that exist, make sure you do these five key things.

1.MEET HIS FRIENDS. They say you can tell a man by the company he keeps. His frienda re his forcefield, and there will be a lot of his past, present and future reflected in the inner circle. Meeting the crew is a big step – the modern day equivalent of meeting his familu. If you really cant stand his mates, be warned he may nor like having to choose between you and them (would you?) Also, he should suggest hanging with his nearest and dearest. If he’s hesitant about showing you off to the crew, that’s gotta start raising some eyebrows.

2.TAKE A FEW TRIPS TOGETHER. If the private jet to Spain is, ah, booked for the weekend, a day trip out of town will suffice. Spending some serious one-on-one time together is a great way to really get to know someone, and make sure that what you have isn’t just a combination of hormones and high school boredom.

3.TALK ABOUT THE FUTURE. Is it love or just flirting? One way to find out is how long he sees this lasting. You don’t have to bring up marriage and babies when it comes to future0-talk. You just wanna make sure you’re not just hid ‘girlfriend of the week’ before you go dropping the L-bomb. A simple vhat about uni or plans for the first year after high school should suss what he’s thinking.

4.HAVE A FIGHT. Firstly, we DON”T mean start a fight – who are you, Lilo and Sam? And okay, we don’t mean have a massive screaming-at-each-other-at-3am-brawl – if your’e having those, maybe you guys shouldn’t be together in this first place! We’re just saying this: relationships aren’t all sunshine and ponies. Sooner or later you’re going to have a disagreement about something, and that’s totally normal. What you need are great communication skills and a mature attitude to see where he’s coming from before working towards a compromise. Can you get his point of view? Is he respecting where you’re coming from? Lovers stiffs are nothing to worry about, as long as you both know how to deal.

5.WAIT AT LEAST THREE MONTHS. Oh, okay. We admit it. Some Girlfriend staffers have been to known to bust this pout after, um, three weeks. And who’s to say being romantic and crazy isn’t just a little bit magical? Just be warned: an early ‘I love you’ will freak the commitment-phobic right outta town. Patience is a virtue, and even if you know you’re both on a one-way, you may wanna wait till he catches up.

COOL vs. FOOL

Cool: being aware he may not say it back.
Fool: saying it in the first week.
Cool: Enjoying being in love – even if he isn’t quite there yet.
Fool: blurting it out the first time it pops into your head.


Source: girlfriend magazine